*This page is still under construction. I working on a getting a few more pictures that are currently in storage.
Written 12/10/07 - I am not sure that I am actually going to let anyone see this blog, but I need to quit hiding my shame in another bag of chips. Let me start with the statement...I have always struggled with my weight!! Even as a little girl. I remember in 5th grade...sitting around the classroom during recess (it was raining outside) talking with the popular kids. First of all I was thrilled that I was sitting with the popular kids. I felt out of my element to begin with. I wasn't a nerdy kid in school or a popular kid...I was just one of those kids that floats from group to group. You know how some kids just seem to have a friend here and there...that was me. I liked that. Anyways, back to my story. I was sitting with the popular kids and one of the girls...Jamie...asked everyone "who is the fattest kid in the 5th grade?" My friend Tammy named someone (I don't even remember who), and Jamie said "No, it is Carly." I don't know if anyone else thought that, but it was an extremely embarrassing and life-altering moment. I, even now, 2 days before my 30th birthday, think about that situation. I still am the "fat girl". I actually try to use the word chubby because now that I have a 5 year old daughter, who also struggles with weight, I am chosing the word chubby over fat. It sounds less threatening, less demeaning. I also remember in elementary school, getting a physical, and the doctor accussed me of stealing other kids lunches. He said I couldn't weight as much as I did eating the lunches that my mom was sending to school with me. Still, writing this, makes me feel so small and hurt. It is so painful to think of people criticizing others for their weight.
I have tried many diets over the years...starting in junior high school when I started weight watchers for the first time. I don't remember it doing any good and just be so mortified when I had to go to the meetings at the Jewish Community Center. I continued to gain more and by the time I was in the middle of my junior year, I had reached 199 lbs. Again, my mom and I started weight watchers. This time I really wanted this. I worked so hard and got down to around 170 lbs. My senior year was awesome. I grew my hair out longer and was down 30 lbs. I still wasn't a size 6 or even an 8 for that matter, but I was cuter than I had been!!
Away to college I went and began putting on the pounds. By the end I graduated from college I had reached my all time high of 233 lbs. One day, as I was doing a project and I was standing on a ladder, not bending at all...I could feel my back fat touching, YUCK!! It was the most horrible experience EVER!! I was so mortified. I really didn't think I was that fat until that moment. I told my parents we had to do something!! So again we started Weight Watchers. I did really well that time. I lost over 50 lbs.
I was between 175 and 180 when I married the love of my life!! I felt beautiful...i still had weight to lose, but I was feeling energized, healthy, and very happy. This picture was taken shortly after we were married while I was visiting a friend who had just had a baby!
I started having kids. The day of my delivery of my first baby, I weighed in at a horrible 286 lbs. I can't believe that I was that large...yes I was pregnant, but I had gained about 100 lbs. At one point, I had gained 19 lbs in 4 weeks.
I got back down to 203 lbs after Ellie and then got pregnant again with Aeryn. Not as bad this time, I put on about 45 lbs.
Then there was this last pregnancy. I started out at 215 lbs and delivered at 245 lbs. I had only gained 30 lbs. I was thrilled...But I am stuck!! This morning I weighed 235.5 lbs. I gained 4 lbs, this week. I am SICK of BEING CHUBBY!! So I started a blog, a place to get out my feelings and record my successes as well as my trials!! I hope that this can be my final attempt at trying to lose weight. I CAN DO IT!!!! I want to be healthy and have the energy to enjoy my kids and be the mother that they need!! My promise is to report in everyday! I will do it!!
Written 1/24/15 - I spent the last few years gaining and losing weight. After I delivered my last baby, I lost weight and would shortly thereafter find it again. We moved to Utah, and I weight 231 lbs. My weight fluctuated between 220-230 for about 4 years time. I would try a diet and then I would quit dieting all together. In January of 2014, we were helping my sister get ready to open her Jazzercise studio. We spent a Saturday clearing the parking lot of a thick layer of ice and snow. It was a major undertaking. I had started using my fitness pal to track my food and exercise. You know how many calories you burn shoveling snow for as long as we did. It is a lot! I saw this picture and I was horrified! Why couldn't I get my weight under control! Why did I let food control my happiness! I worked really hard and went from 224.5-195 in 4 months.
I was feeling so good about myself and the progress that I had made. I still had a long way to go, but it was a start. I hadn't been to that weight in years. Well, to be precise, it had been 13 years! I hadn't weighed 195 since I was first pregnant with my daughter. I just had to keep going. Yet it got hard again, I stopped counting and measuring and being accountable
to myself. And when I did that, the weight crept back on. That brings us to now!
I weighed 213 lbs on Jan. 2, 2015. I didn't want to be that girl who lost all this weight and put almost the entire amount back on. I had to change...again. That is when I started the Dukan Diet. We will see where it takes me. But I feel confident that I will make it to my goal. Like I have said before, I am not here to say what weight loss program to use. I have done so many and lost weight. But i found that weight again because emotionally I lost control. I used to food to create happiness. I have a wonderful life filled with people who love and care about me. And I am making a change!
3/1/15- Currently, I am down 106 lbs from my highest and still going strong. I feel so in control of my life right now. Don't get me wrong, there are moments where I just don't want eat healthy or exercise. But I do it cause in the end I feel better.